Run Jonesgirl Run!
I’ve always wanted to be a runner. Just to be able to casually insert into the conversation, “I bumped into Mary-Jo when I was jogging the other day” or “Managed a couple of laps around the “tan” before catching up with Todd for brunch on Saturday” or better still…”Clocked my personal best for the half-marathon!”. The thing is, even though notionally I wanted to run, I just couldn’t fathom how to get all my limbs to move in the one direction in a forward motion and at any level of velocity. Oh, and it really hurt and felt completely un-natural. So you see my dilemna – I wanted to be a runner, but I didn’t really want to run.
What I have subsequently discovered is that running really is a case of mind over matter. I mean everyone can technically run, with the obvious exception of those wheelchair bound, the legless or those really, really fat bastards. I could run too, but only for short bursts. The recent purchase of a treadmill, affectionately known as the “painmill” meant I no longer had any excuses for not exercising and I was determined to learn how to run for more than just the requisite two minutes in a row.
I even sought advice from friends who can legitimately lay claim to calling themselves “bonafide runners”;
LW: Yeah running hurts like hell, but I just count to 69, chuckle to myself and then start counting again from 0 to 69, over and over again.
BC: Running with a mate can help. One time MA and I got stuck behind a couple of honeys, we really could have passed them, but we could pace ourselves against them and enjoy the view at the same time.
CJ: You run wrong – you should really put your heel down first – you’re just too flat-footed.
MV: Don’t move your arms around too much!
Apart from my physical constraints, I have a much more serious problem – I look like a retard when I run. I have sited myself in shop windows as I pound the pavement and it’s just not a pretty site. I really don’t know what to do with my arms and hands and my running attire is certainly not going to make it to the pages of Vogue’s “Sport Luxe” feature – ‘How to sweat in style!”
All this said, today I took the sage advice of another running friend and hauled myself onto the treadmill to truely test how long I could run without stopping. I am proud to announce that after 30 minutes non-stop running I achieved the lengthy distance of 4kms. That’s pretty pathetic pace, but I have never before, and I mean never ran continuously for that length of time. I am now starting to believe I can actually become a runner. I am even considering registering for my first fun-run – 5.5km in the Melbourne Marathon, starting from and finishing at the legendary MCG.
And the best bit of all, potentially thousands of people and my loved ones can witness my cerebal-palsy like running action on the big screen as I finish that lofty distance inside the MCG.
Lisa said,
August 27, 2007 at 11:02 pm
Fantastic effort on the running front. It’ll be great if you enter the “fun” run. Just don’t expect to get too much “fun” out of it.
I’m not sure if I can say I’ve ever enjoyed one of those things at the time, but afterwards, well that’s a different story!! Not too mention all the caramel slices you can eat as a reward. Good Luck.
CSJ said,
August 28, 2007 at 3:11 am
Babe, Don’t worry about running like a spastic….
Plenty of people with an un-orthodox running style have been sucessful.
You need look no further for an example than good old Cliff Young.
Sure he’s dead now, but in his day he could get from Sydney to Melbourne
wihout ever actually lifting either foot entirely off the ground. And, not
only was he an ultra marathon champion, he could really pull the chicks.
Aussie Mal said,
August 28, 2007 at 5:43 am
A great way to improve your running style is to use the “sewing machine technique”. BC will be able to validate the benefits of this & how it can be incorporated into your training regime.
clarkebruce said,
August 28, 2007 at 8:31 am
Dear Jones Girl (if that is your real name)
As I told you at dinner on Saturday night, my dad’s philosophy on this subject can be summed up as follows: “Women and cows shouldn’t run”.
Given LMW has now bettered my half-marathon and 10km PBs I am prepared to concede that dad’s advice may be a little harsh. So good luck with your running.
Aussie Mal thought he was shit hot when our erstwhile running coach complimented him on his technique in the ’sewing machine’ drill. As this drill involves prancing around like a giraffe on speed (Mal’s normal state), I think it was a hollow compliment at best.
A more pleasant memory of running with Aussie Mal was the day the wire that held a metallic plate and screws in place in his kneecap broke loose and was seen protruding from his knee.
BC
PS – Don’t forget to set up your categories
M.R. said,
August 28, 2007 at 11:11 am
Get a bike…